"When Inches Become Miles" by Sarena Chipman James

I wanted to share another great blog from Sarena Chipman James, a mother of an autistic son who is learning more about the learning process as she observes her son's progress daily.

http://onaisle9.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/when-inches-become-miles/

"The Judgment Free Zone" by Sarena Chipman James

Many thanks go to my cousin, Sarena Chipman James, a blogger, who shares fascinating and life-affirming recounts of her life experience as a mother of an autistic son. I am sharing the link to one of her many blogs that may encourage parents of exceptional children and enlighten teachers to the struggles of the exceptional child and their parents.

May this article bring you insight, hope, and fill you will renewed resolve to operate in the fullness of your purpose as parent or teacher....

http://onaisle9.wordpress.com/2010/08/22/the-judgment-free-zone-2/#more-25

Good Article...."10 Back-to-Schools Items to Skimp On"

http://shopping.yahoo.com/articles/yshoppingarticles/653/10-back-to-school-items-to-skimp-on/

High School Teachers Get Paid Too Much!!!

               I'm fed up with high school teachers and their big salary schedules.  What we need is to reevaluate their salaries.

               I think I’ll pay these teachers myself. I'll pay them day camp counselor wages.  That's right! Instead of paying these outrageous taxes; I'd give them $3 an hour out of my own pocket.  And I'm only going to pay them for five hours, not lunch or coffee breaks.  That would be $15.00 a day.  Each parent should pay $15 a day for these teachers to monitor their teenager.  Even if they have more than one teenager, it's still a lot cheaper than private day camp programs.

               Now, how many teens do they teach - maybe 100?  That's $15x100=$1500 a day.  But remember they only work 180 days a year!  I'm not going to pay them for vacations!  $1500 x180=$270,000.  (Just a minute, I think my calculator needs new batteries.)

               I know you teachers will say-What about those who have 10 years experience and a Master's Degree?  Well, maybe (to be fair) they could get the minimum wage, and instead of just monitoring, they could let the teens write a story.  We could round that off to about $7.50 an hour, times five hours, times 100 teens.  That's $3750 a day times 180 days.  That's $675,000....huh? (scratching my head) Wow! That's more than the U.S. President's salary of $400,000! Hmmm.....

              Wait a minute; let's get a little perspective here.  Day camp wages are too good for these teachers.  Has anyone seen a salary schedule around here?

~Story was adapted from an Anonymous writer

Don't be a "Telemarketer" - Build Relationships: The Social Art of Conversing and the Ministry of Listening

We all have pet peeves...you know...those things that really get under our skin and cause us to cry out in mental anguish when we are subjected to waterdrop-torture situations. Ah, yes! Well, here's one particular pet peeve of mine: one-sided conversations (i.e. personal soliliquies or filibusters).

Have you ever been accosted by a person who just wanted to hear themselves talk during every encounter with them? It is one of the most annoying things to endure. Perhaps that is why most people avoid telemarketer calls...they are one-sided. Telemarketers have been trained to get their message across no matter how many times you say "no, thanks" "I'm not interested," etc. The only way to get your point across is either to be "vile" or hang up the phone. Your blood pressure rises and you're left agitated that the other person refused to pick up on verbal cues, blatant statements, and you feel that the only thing that person wanted to do was to really get their point across. They could not have cared less who you were, how you felt at that moment, or how they interrupted your day. Can you relate?!?

Well, there are individuals in our lives who operate very similar to telemarketers. The difference between them and telemarketers is that it is often much harder to dismiss these individuals in our lives with whom we have emotional, social, and professional attachments as swiftly as we are able to dismiss anonymous telemarketers.

So what exactly do these emotional, social, and professional telemarketers do that is annoying?

1) Their agenda is to let you and everybody know (in detail) how they are feeling or about their personal experience.

2) They are competitive...constantly trying to be on top, no matter how trivial the topic of conversation may be. If they can't be on top, they will talk about someone they know who is.

3) Their body language show that they are not listening to what you are saying. They cannot wait until you are done so that they can tell you what else is on their mind.

4) They chronically interrupt you in mid-sentence (should you get a word in edgewise) to insert their ideas or to deal with background noises/situations.

5) They manipulate the conversation by trying to relate what you are saying to something on their mind that is actually unrelated. (i.e. changing the topic)

6) The question: "How've you been?" is hastily sandwiched between their account of their day and other events, not even giving you much of an opportunity to respond. Should you attempt a response, you will be promptly interrupted while they deal with background distractions.

7) It never occurs to them to show genuine interest in what you are doing unless they are somehow directly involved.

While we all have our moments of just needing to talk to someone and "let it all out," these offenders can be counted on to exhibit these behaviors consistently and without fail. What's worse is that you may walk away feeling like you were unimportant, rejected, ignored...and disrepected.

Tips to Avoid "Telemarketer Behavior":

1. Everyone should be mindful that conversations should have an ebb and flow. Restrain your "juicy tidbits of information" and allow the other person to interact.

2. Stop and ask how the other person is doing...and...actually listen for and to their response. This lets them know that you are genuinely interested and concerned about them as an individual. 

3. Notice the individual's body language and tone of voice and adjust the conversation accordingly. These subtle and not-so-subtle cues were purposed to help with the ebb/flow or stoppage of the conversation. Pay attention!

Being mindful of and implementing these conversation suggestions may help in building relationship with others. Who knows? They might just have a hilarious story to tell you that will give you belly-laughs for the rest of the day or volunteer information that will help you along the way.

Listening is actually a ministry. Are you aware of that? It is! Listening is often the only and best thing you can offer a person...it is as effective emotionally as giving a back massage physically. Listening also gives you the tools you need to further develop a genuine relationship with an individual. When a person doesn't listen to another person, they are actually saying: "I have no interest in you." "You are not important to me." " I am not interested in any type of relationship with you." " I am only interested in and concerned about my affairs.


Here are some ways to improve your listening ministry:

1. Make regular eye contact when the other person is speaking.

2. Occasionally acknowledge your understanding of what the person is saying by nodding, an "unh uh" or asking a question.

3. Avoid interrupting unless absolutely necessary...and do so kindly.

4. Show sympathy/empathy/understanding/concern in your facial expression. 

5. Ask open-ended questions to indicate that you really expect more than a simple "yes" or "no" response.

Building relationships with others is one of the most important things that we must do. Being an emotional, social, or professional "telemarketer" can inhibit your success in relating with others. Being aware of ourselves in this regard  and the effects on others can in turn inspire others to inward reflection and development as well.

Developing an Outreach

It was through having seven years of experience teaching in a metropolitan public school system that this yearn to develop such an outreach began. Coming from a relatively rural area where I'd taught for seven years prior to this experience, I'd taken the  nurturing learning environment I was accustomed to for granted. But after one year in an urban public school setting, my professional world seemed to turn upside down.

One of the  motivating forces was the  plethora of parent-teacher interactions that followed this pattern of events. Allow me to take on the role of Ghost of Past Parent-Teacher Conferences....

• First the teacher contacts the parent(s)/guardians(s) after several attempts to rectify poor academic/behavioral performance in the classroom. 
• The parent/guardian responds with hesitancy, partially grateful that they were contacted, partially agitated that they were contacted, and partially defensive on their child's behalf due to previous negative experiences with urban public schools. After a few moments of interaction, the hesitancy and defensiveness subsides. 
• Once the the issue is clearly identified and proven by the teacher, the  parent, wanting to appear to be a good parent, immediately turns toward their child with anger and frustration as if the child should "just do what they are supposed to do" automatically because he or she "told them to."
• This is followed by a 2-5 minute rant by the parent to the child about previous similar experiences of this behavior and a few threats of punishment(s) for their behavior. 
• The child sits with sulking body language with a facial expression that conveys their wish to suddenly be invisible or run out of the room. Most often the child has a look of confusion on their faces as their parent/guardian rant about their responsibility to "do the right thing" as though they are trying to understand why their parent/guardian is putting on such a show.

It was after several parent-teacher conferences of this kind that I noticed something particularly disconcerting. I noticed fear  in the eyes of the parent/guardian. Frankly, it startled me! The parent/guardian was afraid.  It was a nervous fear and it was silent...hiding just beyond the outburst of anger and frustration towards the child. From that moment I began to not raise an eyebrow at the parenting styles in question, but to truly empathize with the parent's fear of failing. I realized that for some urban parents/guardians, there is a very real sense of not knowing exactly what to do or what they should be doing to help their child be successful in the classroom and earn a quality education.

Sure, they have heard: "Come to the PTA meetings, go to Back-to-School night, make sure they do their homework," but many urban parents are not sure what they should be doing beyond those things on a daily basis. To add to the complexity of the situation, many urban parents have extremely busy schedules, extreme work stress, stress of long commutes, stress of high cost-of-living, stress of just dealing with what comes along with living in a metropolitan area, and  many also happen to be single parents with little or no extended family support.

 Unfortunately, many urban parents' previous experience with urban public schools formulated a negative schema of the public school system which include: memorizing information for quizzes and tests, relying on favoritism from teachers or athletic skills to get through a course, cramming for tests at the last minute, perhaps dealing with chronically unfair teachers, or just suffering through until they graduated and landed a job immediately after high school. For many third and fourth generation urban parents, college and other higher educational opportunities may have seemed unattainable for them, although some urban parents have persevered to earn undergraduate and graduate degrees. Most urban parents will quickly join in the chorus of saying that education is important in being able to provide for one's family and being a contributing member of society, some find themselves not knowing how to really help their child in earning a quality education.

...And that's where I realized that an educator's insight in the format of a simple manual would be most helpful to the urban parents who sincerely want their child to succeed academically, but are not sure how to establish a foundation for the academic aspect of parenting. The goal of this manual is to replace the fear in the eyes of urban parents' during parent-teacher conferences to a look of empowerment to facilitate a positive and successsful learning experience for their child.

So, I invite you to explore this manual: "Parents, You are Teachers, Too!" and share it with any and all parents, whether they live in an urban or rural area, who would appreciate insight from an educator's point of view as they continue to prepare their child for the world beyond the public school system.

http://www.amazon.com/Parents-You-are-Teachers-Too/dp/B0058TW23G/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1312316320&sr=8-4

"Rewriting the Attack on Teachers" ... Thanks, Matt Damon!

Actor Matt Damon explains why American public school teachers do their jobs. MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell has more in the Rewrite.


Link: http://thelastword.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/08/02/7235006-rewriting-the-attack-on-teachers
Broadcast Date: Tuesday, August 2, 2011